I've been had

Ya'll, I left work early so I could blog about this 'ish. I'm so mad I could spit! Doc called me earlier this morning to say we wouldn't be going out anymore. That's it. Nothing else. WTF?!?!?
I'm stunned! This came from left field. I would have never expected this from him. I guess I shouldn't have given him a pass on the B.S. though. I figured because he seemed to have himself together and he was about something that he'd be past the B.S. Guess not. Guess not.

Way too much news!!

OMG!! I don't even know where to begin. Well, I'll try the beginning but I'm going to warn you, I might (read: will) get sidetracked. :-)

Let's start with my adorable little Christmas tree. It's fake, teehee, but it's beautiful! It's decorated in all red, which matches the red/black decor I've got going on in my front room. I've even got some old school cardinals on the tree. I remember growing up my parents had these red birds that went on our tree at home. I loved them so much, I went to look for some last year. I found them, for $3 a piece, and I bought 12. (That's all I could afford, with a 50% off coupon!) Anywho, there is not a single gift under that bad boy, but that's OK. It's my tree, it is in my apartment and I love it!! NEXT!

Now let's talk about me going back to school. You heard me folks, I'm going back to school for a Master's degree. An MBA to be exact. I'm sooooo excited. I never ever, ever, ever, ever thought I'd want to see the inside of a classroom again. Turns out I'm interested now. Go figure! I've got to take a calculus class next semester before I can apply for the MBA program that I want to take, so I'll be a college student again beginning Jan. 8. What you know about that? LMAO!! The job will pay for two classes a semester, six classes a year, so I figure it will take me three years to get the full degree at that rate. I've made peace with that because the job will be paying for the whole thing, so looking at it like that, three years doesn't sound so bad. You know? That's all about that! NEXT!

Moving on to Doc. We've been talking rather regularly and we now have some loose plans for New Year's Eve. We have no idea what we'll be doing, but I think we've pretty much decided we'll be doing it together. I really like this guy. I'm mean we have a lot in common and he seems to share my passion for doing something with your life. Not that Middle didn't (haven't heard that name in a while have ya?) but he had no idea where his life was going. He was too busy drowning his sorrows in a bottle to make any solid plans! Back to Doc, though. He's just finished his exams for the semester, so he's very happy about that. He'll be home next week and we've planned to get together before I leave for my Christmas vacation. I can't wait to see him. I really want to see him. It's kinda cool that he lives out of town -- but not too far away. If need be we could see each other in an hour and a half if we met half way between where he lives and where I live. I think it would take about three hours to get to his place or mine. That's not too bad, I don't think. Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing him next week before I go home for a week. Speaking of home.... now comes the drama! NEXT!!

OK, you might want to sit down for this one (just in case you've been reading standing up). How do you respond when a man you've never had sex with, a man you've know all your life, a man who's know you all your life, a man you've were once madly in love with... OK, I think you get the point. But how do you respond when that man calls you out of the blue to say he still loves you? Yep, that's what I said. When this happened I immediately thought three things: 1) I still love you too; 2) I'm glad I don't live in the same city as him and 3) Why couldn't this be Doc?!? It was so crazy ya'll! I've talked to him here and there, maybe a few times a month, over the years he's been married. Umm, yeah. I said married. The conversations have always, ok not always but most of the time, been totally respectable. Nobody had to hang up the phone and feel like they were going to Hell for adultery. Understand what I'm saying? LMAO! So when we talked yesterday, everything seemed normal. We talked about me going back to school and all, and he said he was happy for me. I didn't see any harm in that. He didn't say anything out of the way. HOWEVER, a few hours later he called me and here was the exchange, for the most part:

Phone: Ring, ring, ring.
Me: (I see the name on the Caller ID) Hey there! What's up?
Him: I just want to preface what I'm going to say by saying you haven't heard me say what I'm about to say in a long time.
Me: I'm nervous.
Him: I'm being serious.
Me: Me too!
Silence...
Me: Well... what is it?
Him: I realized today when we were talking that I still love you.
Me: Are you serious?!?
Him: Yes.
Me: No, really. Are you serious right now?!?!?
Him: Yes, I am.
Me: Wow. I don't know what to say to that. I mean, thank you, if that's what you say to something like that.

OK?!?!? So again, I ask you, how do you respond when a man you've never had sex with, a man you've know all your life, a man who's know you all your life, a man you've were once madly in love with? I'm not sure I handled it just right, but I can tell you I was glad about the developing relationship between me and Doc when he said that. Thanks to Doc, I'm not feeling unloved and weak and alone. I'm not reading too much into Old Flame because I've got Doc on the brain. I think that's the best thing I've got going for me right now. I will say this, though. It is nice to know that once upon a time, the man I loved, loved me back. You know what I mean?

That's all for now. Isn't that enough, though?

Peace and blessings!!

No news...

So, nothing exciting has happened since my amazing date the week of Thanksgiving. I've talked to Doc, but we haven't made any plans for Christmas. Hopefully that will come as he makes plans to come back home.

I've got my company Christmas party coming up and I think I'll be going by myself. I think I'm OK with that, but the fact that I'm mentioning it here tells me I'm not as OK with it as I say I am. :-)

Anywho, I've put up my Christmas tree and I'm feeling a bit more in the Christmas spirit. I've had a hard time getting into it since it was 75 degrees last week! LOL!

More later.

Things are looking up!

So I went on a date Sunday night.

A real honest to goodness date.

There was me. There was a man. There was dinner. There was desert. I guess you get the picture.

You guys have read about my on-line dating trials and tribulations. The drama! The horror!! Well, this one was certainly not a dud. He was a stud! :-) This guy, who I'll call Doc, is excellent date material. He was fun, engaging, attentive and he is very easy on the eyes. I'm optimistic about our budding friendship. I think this will be a fun new development for me.

I needed this lift in my life right through here. I was so down after a comedy of errors involving potential dates I really needed a success story. I got a little more than that, I think. I'm really making a friend. Doc and I have a lot in common. We are both serious about our careers and our churches. We both value our relationships with Christ and we can talk about our beliefs even though we were brought up in different religious denominations.

We can just talk about things and whether or not we agree with each other, we can still have a good conversation. We seem to enjoy being in each others company and that's a nice feeling too.

Our window of opportunity is small this time around. He lives out of town and he's here for Thanksgiving visiting his folks. He'll be leaving before I get back from seeing my folks, so we won't have much more time to visit before he goes back home. I'm pretty sure he'll come back for Christmas, and I can only hope he gets here before I leave for my vacation.

Well at any rate, wish us luck!!

Peace and blessings!

It wasn't supposed to be this long between posts....

OK, so I said I was back last month and then I take almost a month before I post again. How much more flaky can I get? Well, here I am... again.

I've restarted my exercise regimen, as of today. I did well. I just have to make sure I keep it up at least three times a week.

The man situation hasn't changed at all. I'd almost venture to say it is getting worse. I guess guys are really keeping their distance because the holiday season is fast approaching. I guess things will pick up again after Valentine's Day. LOL!!

I'm beginning to think I'm too trusting. I've fallen for too many, "I look forward to meeting you," type lines during this on-line dating process. I think the think I don't like about the on-line world is you can't be sure if someone is telling you the truth or not. When I'm looking at people -- like directly in somebody's mouth -- I've got a pretty good idea if they are lying to me. On-line it's all a crap shoot. A guy, or a girl for that matter, can say anything and the person on the receiving end will never be the wiser. Well, I'm not gonna quit, but I am going to be a bit more cynical about things I think. Not in a negative way, but I won't get my hopes all up when a guy expresses interest in my profiles.

There is this really cool guy I've been talking to via Yahoo! IM for awhile. He's in grad school in another part of the state, but we have good conversations once or week or so. We generally talk about football, which is fine by me. It is nice to at least talk to a guy who is just interested in having conversation. You know?

Well, the evening game is about to come on, LSU vs Bama, so I'm gonna checkout. Big ups to my girl Kayla out there on the high seas!! Hey girl!

Peace and blessings!

It's a scary thought... I might be forced to date a White man.

Where exactly are the non-creepy, single Black men with 0 to 2 kids, jobs and a positive image of themselves? Where are they? Outer-space? Where?

That's where I want to be. Right there, on that planet.

Can I get an "Amen!" from the choir, please?

Ok, that may or may not be the sermon that you are interested in, but it's the one I'm preaching about tonight. If you're wondering where I meet the dysfunctional guys I meet, most of them are online. Others I meet when I'm out and about, but the majority of them are online.

I'm big on meeting people online, but why, WHY, are a lot of the guys I meet so strange? From straight up liars and potential sex offenders to dudes who are ready to jump into a relationship and meet your parents after three days. (Note: Not three dates, three DAYS!!)

Many people frown upon the online dating scene, but it works for me because I'm not a "clubber." I've been to the library and didn't see anybody there I was interested in and I'm so "in the zone" at Church, I'm not looking. (I gotta praise the Lawd, I can't be looking for guys... LOL!)

So, here's where the White man comes in. I'm sitting at a bar on Friday talking to a girl I work with, who is White, and I'm she asks me if I'd ever date anyone from work. I say, "Yes, but there is no one at the office I'd want to date." What I really should have said is, "You know there are only 12 Black people in the office, and half of them are not attractive and/or married." Now when she asked me that I started thinking, theoretically of course, about what men really are available at work. All of the ones I could think of were White. Not necessarily unattractive, actually some are very attractive, but they are White. I'm one of those Black women who see Black men and White men. Period. A female friend of mine said, "Girl, at this point, I just see men." At that time, I said good for her but I couldn't see it that way. I think I'm beginning to see things differently.

Now the thing that keeps me on the Black side of the fence is the look I imagine on my Daddy's face when I stroll into his house with Vanilla Ice/Justin Timberlake on my arm. LOL!! I'm sure "slack-jawed" is an understatement for the expression that will take over his face.

Seriously, I'm really wondering if I'm going to have to date outside of my race. And I'm wondering if I'll have as big of a problem with it as I think I will. Well, I'm sure if the right White guy came along I wouldn't even realize at first, I don't know. Just in case you are wondering, yes, I did see Something New, and I liked it. I thought it had some valid points and that it was presented well.

Anyway, I'm gonna calm it down but I just had to get that off my chest. :-)

Peace and blessings all around!!

A promise kept...

I've been promising a new Sister-friend of mine that I was going to start my blog again. I'm not going to call any names, but here I am Kayla!

I'm still single, but I've been out a time or two with a couple of guys I met on BP. Middle and I haven't spoken in a long time, and those of you who know the story of Middle and me will be glad to know we never got back together. Ever.

I'm still working on my weight loss project and it's going OK. It was going better before I started eating ice cream floats before bed. LOL!!

So this one's going to be short, but I promise to come back soon.